Perspectives and personal stories from young people living with HIV/AIDS

Maximus is a twenty-two year-old white male who was diagnosed with HIV on February, 2009. This interview explores this young mans feelings about HIV, and how he has been coping with it over the past year. The struggle for Maximus lies mainly within those who surround him and do not accept him after they find out he is HIV positive he states, “A lot of people are ignorant about the way you can get HIV. A lot of people think it's through spit, saliva or other types of substances”. Continue reading below to capture Maximus’ journey, and heartfelt struggle to be accepted by society.

Tell me a little bit about yourself?

I'm a 22 year-old white male very lazy at points. Really nonchalant at points.

When were you first diagnoses with having HIV?

February 2009.

How did you contract HIV?

Having unprotected sex with my partner who is HIV positive. He was positive but he never told me till after we had unprotected sex.

How does that make you feel knowing someone you were involved with gave you HIV?

Hurt, sad, disappointed. I was really scared of him because he kept that secret from me. It made me wonder what other types of things he was hiding from me.

How do you think he contracted the disease?

I don't know, he use to work in the stripping business.

What were your first thoughts once you found out you were HIV positive?

My first thoughts was I'm going to kill myself. I felt like a death sentence. So I figured if I'm going to die, I might as well kill myself.

You were diagnosed in February of 2009, it's now June 2009. What steps  has Ms. Leo taken to put yourself on a more positive path of thinking?

I'm young, just because I'm HIV positive it doesn't mean my life is over. I'll be 23 this year. I want to be able to live life and it is not a death sentence. You have to embrace what you have right now.

Have you started taking medications?

No, the doctor says, it too early.

At this point, how do you cope with being HIV positive or how are you currently medicating yourself?

I smoke and drink alcohol a lot to relieve my stress.

Have you sought other options in helping you deal with the reality of being HIV positive?

Not yet. I don't think I'm ready to get into the heavy aspects as far as counseling for my childhood issues.

When you say childhood issues you mean?

There's a lot...I was raped as a child. There was a lot of incest and sex in the family. I was abandoned and I witnessed my father's suicide at a young age. So, I  haven't even worked through those issues yet.

What's been the biggest challenge for you being young and positive?

Just not having the access to resources like I need. I'm in a program now and they really don't tell me anything about the services I could utilize. So I'm still sort of in the dark about it about what I can receive as far as services. The other thing is being judge and being outcast by my friends, because they are not (HIV) positive and I am. So, every time I'm around them it's an uncomfortable circle. They avoid me because they think that they can get (HIV) positive because I cough or something.

How did you deal with that response?

I avoid them. I just stop hang out with them.

Those response were pretty harsh, what's been the best response you've received from someone after telling them about your HIV status?

Them embracing me and hugging me and expressing to me that they want to get to know me better.

And why was that so important for you?

Because I've always craved for attention and for love. I felt that when my friend embraced me and gave me a hug, I felt his concern for me.

There seems to be a huge stigma associated with HIV. Why do you think that is?

I guess a lot of people are afraid of it. A lot of people don't know about it. So they have a big fear about what it is and how it's transmitted.

Before contracting HIV, were you knowledgeable about the disease?

I knew about it. I knew the letters, I didn't know about the disease. It was kind of on the back burner for me. I was really too concerned about it.

Since contracting it, do you find that you are more informed about HIV?

Umm, not really I'm still in the dark about things. I have to really put myself out there to get some services and to see what there is to offer for HIV positive youth.

Being young and HIV positive, why haven't you taken on a more progress role in learning about HIV?

A big fear. I mean, I already know I'm positive. I don't like putting my business out there in front of everybody and I'm still not comfortable with telling everybody my business. So, I don't really want to go out there and learn about HIV.

With your age group do you find that you socialize with are educated about HIV and taking the necessary precautions to practice sexual safety?

I think they're aware but the don't really care about the safe sex, process. A lot of them are really open about it and don't care about getting anything.

What type of advice would you offer young people who are sexually active?

Just use condoms and give them STD information. Give them classes to teach them about HIV and living with AIDS and what not.

But does that work? That type of advice has already been offered. What can be offered that's different that the information young people have already received?

Just live life but be careful. Know what life has to offer but don't be stupid about life.

What would you advise someone who is newly diagnosed?

Get services, get in contact  with someone, get help because there are people that can help you. You can get a whole bunch of services provided for free.

What's the dating scene like for you? How do you approach that subject matter?

I usually let it happen to me. Because of my status, I'm really scared to put myself out there. So, if someone is interested in me. I let them come to me and when I feel comfortable, I explain that I'm (HIV) positive.

What's the typical response you receive from a love interest once you tell them you're HIV positive?

They usually just turn around and walk away. They leave and turn their back on me and I never see them again.

How does that make you feel?

Hurt, belittled and unwanted.

Why do you that they respond in that way?

Because of the stigma. A lot of people are ignorant about the way you can get HIV. A lot of people think it's through spit, saliva or other types of substances. They're not really brought onto game as far as that HIV is transmitted through blood.

What myth would you like to dispel about being young and HIV?

HIV is not a death sentence.  You know, just because you have it doesn't mean that you're going to die the next day. As long as you get help and treatment, take medication and stay healthy. You can live for a long, long time.

Mr. Maximus, I appreciate you sharing your story with me. It's been an inspiring talk.

Naw, thank you. And if people want to contact me personally they can do so by emailing me at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it . I'm out.