Tu Tienes Sida
Josh Landicho of Youth Speaks performed and co-created the poem "Tu Tienes Sida" with JoJo Napoles. The poem reflects the true and intimate reflections of JoJo, a youth participant from Beyond the Odds. The poem performed was created in collaboration with Youth Speaks and Beyond the Odds.
Tu Tienes Sida
Tu tienes sida. Cold was how he told me.
Heartless and unholy.
Neither before nor after have I ever cried as hard as I did the day I found out.
I'm sure my tears and cries drowned out any kind of laughter that might have filled the hospital rooms next door.
I knew life was a journey and all I ever wanted to do was explore.
Physical travel was not necessary to navigate through my grid.
See as a kid I don’t remember her showing any signs of mental illness.
To this day she falls into an isolated reality shared by other paranoid schizophrenics.
But still, she is my mother.
From the time of my birth being raised running around as a child.
To the time she moved us to a new apartment in Miami.
To that dreadful day death walked into my hospital room and told me I was leaving with it.
She put her finger to her lips as if to say to him “not like this”.
Yet without mercy he said it... “Tu Tienes Sida”.
Sida, that word carried so much stigma.
Associated with those who lived
promiscuous lifestyles was now stuck to me like stereotypes
labeled on individuals they do not understand.
I know who I am. I am the soldier who drops his sword to cry for just a while.
Deep inside this cold armor lays a warrior with the heart of a child.
With the love of a child.
With the effervescence of a child.
With the passion for life only children exhibit
before they learn of
disappointment,
trauma,
and heartbreak.
At La Carreta is where we met.
He was a lot older but showed interest in my chaotic life.
My manager,
my lover,
my sense of stability in a life seemingly not my own.
Spinning out of control.
Acquired
Immune
Deficiency
Syndrome
brought all of it to a complete stop.
From then on I started to count and learned to stay counting.
5 years since my blood has been considered tainted.
4 pills religiously taken on a daily basis.
3 times
Cupid’s arrow pierced my heart since I was a young boy.
2 seconds to know it’s not too late to care about what’s really important.
And 1 life to live,
to love,
to continue fighting for.
To continue striving for,
to create more goals
I continue flying toward.
Now instead of worrying to keep a count of my t-cells,
I keep a count of my blessings.
Before leaving Cuba
I remember my life as if nothing tragic
has or ever will happen.
And now all I need is time.
Time to breathe.
Time to live.
Time to allow my body a chance to be forgiven
by my own heart.
And I’m sorry, but I also need space.
Space to make right
the sins I have committed for wanting to live
a life of a young man who was looking for love.
Written by Josh Landicho of Youth Speaks
Beyond the Odds comes to you from Public Radio Makers Quest 2.0, an initiative of AIR, the Association of Independents in Radio, Incorporated. This project is made possible with funding from the Corporation for Public Broadcasting.
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